M-G: 9.10.15 // 1 Thessalonians 5:17, Restaurant Prayers

Whether this anecdote is real or not, I cannot say. I read it in a popular devotional many years ago suggesting that it actually happened. Reciting from fading memory, there was this couple from the Bible belt visiting the city of New York. When their food was brought to them in a restaurant, they bowed their heads in prayer. After they finished their thanksgiving to God for the food, they started to eat. An onlooker had blared out after they finished praying,

“Hey, mister, does everybody back home pray before every meal?”

“As a matter of fact,” the man replied, “the hogs don’t.

It’s been a while now, but we were at dinner with a couple in a compact and crowded local establishment. Without warning when the food was delivered, the man said, “Let’s pray,” and he spoke out His prayer to God as if competing with the volume in the room. It turned out to be an uncomfortable situation as if there was a sign over our heads alerting everyone,

“Stand by! Real Christians are giving thanks to God for their food! Please pause in silence!”

My least favorite prayer is when couples are going to the local eateries after church and praying before feasting and then giving the servers a difficult and demanding time while leaving a pittance of a tip with a self-righteous attitude,

“You should have been in church today!”

I have talked with many servers who will say that their most challenging customers are church people on Sundays. I gathered they were being nice in their recollections….

Not too long ago, Beverly was with some women for lunch at a fast food café in another state. When they all got their meals from the vendors of their choice and rallied around the “campfire,” one of the women started with one of those from Genesis to Revelation/A to Z prayers. Beverly commented to me that the food was already lukewarm and turning cold by the time everyone got settled and the long-winded prayer. “Praying in public is okay,” she said, “but did it have to be such a long prayer? The food was cold after all was said and done.” I told her it was probably one of those catch-up prayers to appear spiritual in public.  

I never thought I would ever speak out against praying, but Jesus did, the wrong kind of praying, that is (Mt 6:5)! This may come across like I am going against a tradition of praying before every meal, but I’m not. Consider that the one example often used to justify praying before we eat is the ordinance of the Lord’s Supper (Lk 22:19; 1 Cor 11:24), which is not your everyday meal of chowing down because we are hungry, yes? The Lord’s Supper is symbolic of a higher significance.

Other examples are Jesus praying before feeding the 4k+ (Mt 15:36; Mk 8:6) and the 5k+ (Mt 14:19; Mk 6:41; Lk 9:16; Jn 6:11). In the feeding of the crowds it was a matter of practicality – hunger, but the significance of the miraculous feeding of so many people with so little food was another sign displayed to the people that Jesus was the true Messiah The 5k crowd put two and two together and recognized that Jesus was the One and desired to make Him king, remember (Jn 6:14-15)? There were times when we don’t read of thanks being given before eating which is not to say it didn’t take place (Lk 24:42-43; Jn 21:13-14). Also, compare Acts 2:46, “ate their food with gladness.”

Somehow, along the way, we associated praying before every meal as being like Christ (not a bad habit) with His last meal, before being arrested, tortured, and crucified. Jesus gave thanks, knowing what was coming down the pike after the meal, is an extraordinary example for us. If the truth is known, most of us, if not all, would be too torn out of the frame and not in the mood to eat our last meal before being put through the ordeal Christ endured much less give thanks!

The compunction of praying over a meal in public reveals the persuasive pull tradition can have on a Christian. Tradition doesn’t necessarily mean something is spiritually healthy (cf. Mk 7:9). Do we pray because we are truly thankful or want to be perceived as spiritual Christians, or both? I don’t want to venture into the child upbringing, but I think it is okay to pray with your kids in public as long as they are able to understand when they are old enough that it is okay to thank Jesus privately in restaurants!” God sees the heart; man doesn’t. Doing something to look spiritual before man is unspiritual to the Lord, regardless of what it is. God knows if you are thankful or not.

Admittedly, at times I do forget to pray before diving into a meal, but most of the time I will pray before reaching the table not because I am ashamed to be thought of as a Christian, but because I am, more often than not, in a state of gratefulness to the Lord and practice secret prayer (Mt 6:6). In certain religious contexts, it is not an issue of praying in public. I really do not have a problem if Christians genuinely pray in restaurants; I pass no judgment other than the opinion that something is wrong with you spiritually because you do not pray in public in restaurants. Also, I do not care for the manner in which some conduct their prayers in public – as if to be seen.

Thankfully, table prayers are unscripted. Short, sweet, simple prayers are usually the best, but not, “Good food, good meat, good God, let’s eat!” If you want to hold hands and have to wash them after the prayer before you eat, knock yourselves out! Uncle Harry had the flu one time, and I still believe he passed that sanctified bug onto me during a hand-holding session of Kumbayah followed by prayer; God rest His soul; I hate holding hands! Too many germs are transmitted by touch! If I had to wear a safety mask and surgical gloves to church every Sunday, I would be cool with it! Why, because of all the benefits!

Coughing, bad breath, and the smell from needing a bath would be neutralized, and exchanging germs through handshake would not be an issue with the hygienically-challenged saints! We could all get a little “closer!” When you see a man in front of you sneezing and carrying on with his hands over his mouth followed by the turn and greet (shake) moment in worship, it gives me the heebie-jeebies. I grimace behind my smile when I am greeted with a great big smile and a germ-infested hand coming at me fast! I am not anti-social at all, but wouldn’t it be better simply to do the elbow bump or offer a handshake by text, clinically speaking? I am all for tapping elbow to elbow or turning and texting or even nodding of the head as a substitute for the shake and squirm. God only knows where the hands have been. Why have people worried about where my hands have been? Beverly carries a little bottle of hand sanitizer in her purse, thank, God! Okay, I digressed.

In 1 Thes 5:16-22, Paul gives the Thessalonian believers a brief summary of eight Christian virtues for successful Christian living: rejoice (v16), pray (v17),  give thanks (v18), do not quench the Spirit, (v19), do not despise prophecies, (v20), test all things (v21), hold fast what is good (v21), and abstain from evil.

The actions of these eight verbs are all in the present tense which means they are continual actions, habitual, reoccurring, a pattern of life or lifestyle. These things are characteristic but not inclusive of a godly lifestyle, and the absence, thereof, is uncharacteristic of an obedient believer.

Another thing that they all have in common is their mood; they are all in the imperative or commanded, not optional, expected not elected. Six of the eight verbs also share a common voice or how the subject relates to the verb which in this passage is active. In the active voice, the subject is performing the action.

The only two verbs not in the active voice are pray (v17, present middle deponent imperative) and abstain (v22, present middle imperative); the rest are present active imperative in this passage. Stay with me! I’m going somewhere with this on the prayer and thankfulness issues that will hopefully help settle in your mind any questions you may have about praying publicly.

If the verb is in the middle voice, the subject of the verb does something unto itself or for its own benefit as in the case of the verb abstain (v22). Now the verb pray (v17) is in the present middle deponent imperative.

A deponent verb is traditionally a verb that is middle/passive in form but active in meaning. In other words, and this sounds awkward to me, the subject of the verb does something unto itself or for its own benefit but yet carries a meaning of the subject doing the action, middle but active – “(You) pray without ceasing.”  The deponent concept comes from the Latin verb, deponere, “to lay aside.” 

As a layman, let middle be middle and active be active! It is confusing in the determination of deponency and not very helpful, but I am not a Greek scholar to say the least, having trouble in my own native tongue of “Englesh.” I am glad to see a movement for at least a stirring of minimizing its use or rejecting it altogether b. There is not a shortage of references to this middle deponent in the New Testament. The English language cannot capture such a notion, and neither can my brain. There is no small debate among learned men of Greek either on this subject. Since this argument doesn’t fall within the scope of this article on linguistic realities versus superimposed linguistic realities, I’ll move forward.  

The adverbial phrase in v17, “without ceasing,” gives additional emphasis to the present tense of a continual or habitual action.  Such a grammatical hookup gives the impression of being emphatic. We are assuming the objects of prayer are God, others, and ourselves. We are commanded to pray. Who is doing the praying, we are, if we’re obedient to the command. Nobody can do it for us; we can’t shift that responsibility off onto others. We all share that obligation to pray without ceasing, or literally, without interruption. To pray without ceasing is middle voice with an active appearance because we are praying (doing the action) and a recipient of the action as well as others. Again, the middle voice is where the subject of the verb does something unto itself or for its own benefit; throw in the deponent component and it has an active meaning, ahem, though it isn’t really an active voice; it’s middle! Confusing isn't it?  

Praying contemporaneously (tense of the verb: praying regularly, persistently) and extemporaneously (as the need arises) are both in view here. It does not mean giving yourself wholly over to prayer and abandoning all else as in some kind of monastic mindset. Prayer is communication and fellowship with God which is presented here as something that is continual, not sporadic or absent, in the bad times as well as the good times, a 24/7/365.25 attitude of communication and communion. This is the idea.

Rejoicing, praying, and thanking seem like an amen-kind of thing, but when we tack on the adverbs, it becomes very challenging: rejoice always (shortest verse in the Greek NT), pray without ceasing, and in everything give thanks (considered a native emotion, cf. Rom 8:28)! And the survey said, “Whoa Nellie!” Here comes the chaser,

“For this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (emphasis mine,1Thes 5:18b).

This is not a personal interpretation by the way! It is what it is. There is no way to take their meanings out of context. These verbs are all-encompassing, regardless of the circumstances, good or bad! If you ever need a spiritual maturity index on spiritual growth, these triplets are a good measuring stick. Not some of the time, but all the time we are to rejoice, pray, and give thanks. I can say by the authority of the Word that this is the will of God for us in the ups and downs of life. It’s easy to hit the ball where it needs to go on the fairway; in the rough is tough! Imagine giving thanks to God for the loss of a loved one; such a giving doesn’t come but supernaturally in the power of the Holy Spirit of God!

Now, what has this all got to do with praying in restaurants? When people insist on others praying in restaurants like they do, which is in essence giving thanks in this context, they have a tendency to think that the “pray-less ones” are unspiritual! Here is the hypocrisy of such a self-righteous assessment. The standard of this kind of praying falls under the category of thanksgiving and that command goes way beyond simply expressing it before a meal, “in everything give thanks” (emphasis mine, v18)! It’s an attitude of thanksgiving, not just for meals but for everything. We would never get anything done if we literally stopped, bowed our heads, and thanked God every time we did or received something! 

Before heading to the restaurant, did you thank the Lord you didn’t have to take a horse and buggy to the restaurant? Maybe those people being criticized for not praying already thanked the Lord for having an automobile and bringing them safely to the restaurant. Maybe they were already “prayed up” before eating? It’s a lifestyle of thankfulness, not just at meals to be seen by others as being “Christian” or “spiritual.” 

Should you pray before you eat in public? I would quote to you 1 Thes 5:18, but I also would caution you not to judge others if you don't see them giving thanks before eating their meal in public if you are not giving thanks over “everything” you do or have! That would be hypocrisy, right? And another thing, since such people can only see someone’s actions (e.g., something amoral, not obviously sinful) and not the heart, how in the world could they know, using me as an example, that I didn’t pray on the approach which I normally do unless with a group of Christians or in a church setting? This is a good verse to memorize (Jn 7:24)! If I pray in public or not it is a personal call, not someone else’s call (cf. Rom 14:4, 10). It's best to let it go. 

Knowing the truth is step one; step two is exercising the truth in wisdom which requires walking in the Holy Spirit and spiritual maturation. A godly attitude is paramount in life’s experiences. I've quoted this before, but I like what Chuck Swindoll once said,

“The longer I live the more convinced I become that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it.”

And we know from the Apostle Paul how vital agape love is in that regard (1 Cor 13:2). In this matter of praying in restaurants, respond in truth and in love; let’s pray! <><